Aitz Hayim was created by Marc Slutsky, Steve Silberman and Rabbi Irwin Kula in 1992. What started as the dream of three, has become a holy community for over two hundred and fifty families. We have become committed to each other, the Jewish people, the land of Israel and God. We hope that our version of the Jewish way serves as a light to others to find their own path to becoming more joyous.
Aitz Hayim formally began when our first scholar, Rabbi Neil Gilman, challenged us with the question, “What really happened at Sinai?” What do you know or how do you conceive of that defining moment of Jewish existence when we all stood at the mountain and made our covenant with God? That’s not just an academic question; it determines what kind of Jews, what kind of community we will be.
If you think of Sinai in literal terms, you will be looking for the right way to be Jewish and your community will reflect that. If you see it as the primary mythic moment of the Jewish people, your community will partner with God “to be what it will be.”
Aitz Hayim is an ongoing experiment in applying Judaism to make us better and more joyous. We draw on every element in our tradition and integrate it with all that we draw from the greater world.
Certain key principles have emerged:
1. We do our own Judaism. Rabbis and other teachers are our guides as we do Jewish rituals in our homes with our families, in the synagogue at services and during simchas and in conducting life cycle events ourselves. Sometimes family members themselves speak at the events. On other occasions, specially trained members of the community take the lead. After all, who, more than parents, can speak meaningfully to children under the huppah? Who can deliver a more meaningful eulogy at a funeral than a child, grandchild or friend?
We believe it is more important to involve people than worry about mistakes. For example, when everybody brings a parve (non-dairy, non-meat) dish for kosher Shabbat dinners, we know occasional mistakes will be made, but we gain a community of people with increased sensitivity to Jewish eating. It means so much more when you, yourself, say out loud the name of the person for whom you are saying kaddish or offering a prayer for healing.
2. Jewish expression must fit with our place in our world. Much of our liturgy and many of our customs developed at times and under circumstances that don’t fit for us today. People don’t relate to images of kings when we don’t live under monarchies. Prayers that emerged from the pain of humiliation and degradation don’t fit when we are thriving in the land of Israel and have unprecedented status and opportunity in America. Traditional services developed when people were used to concentrating for long periods of time. Once, politicians gave two-hour addresses. There was no competitive entertainment like TV, the Internet, and Tivo. The old 60 second commercial TV spots don’t exist, they are now 10 and 20 seconds. So to engage people, we must be faster paced with more stimuli and changes in emotion.
3. Jewish life is so good it ought to be inclusive, not consumed with exclusion. Our community is open and accepting of all who want to participate. We welcome intermarried families, people of all ages, singles and marrieds and our services are accessible to those with different backgrounds and levels of Jewish learning. We are fully egalitarian by gender and we accept people with different developmental challenges as full participating members of the community. Simply put, we don’t believe that allowing everybody in will contaminate or dilute our
Judaism.
4. Jewish tradition and customs have such profound depth and meaning that they can speak to us in new frameworks. Modern Jews gave up Cohanim (priests) offering the priestly blessing. We reclaimed the practice and included daughters of Cohanim to create a more spiritual sense within this most ancient ritual. At the cemetery, the community and not the employees, shovel the grave as both a mitzvah of kindness and a satisfying beginning to the mourning process. The blessing that says we are no longer
responsible for our son/daughter as a child had fallen from favor in America but it really defines what B’Nai mitzvot are about. What we eat has become an obsession in our era. Eating Jewishly, keeping kosher, speaks to the fundamental moral issue of reverence for life and the operating principle of compromising with the
ideal.
5. Judaism is a way of life, not a subject in school. Although we have a faculty of outstanding scholars from around the world, we believe that Judaism is primarily experiential. Nowhere is this played out more than with B’Nai Mitzvot. Becoming 13/12 and wanting to be part of the Jewish people is what a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is. At Aitz Hayim, no two young members do the same thing. Some teach, some tell stories; most involve meaningful roles for family members. There are many ways people are part of the community. This ceremony should reflect those different ways.
6. Family learning is more effective than classes. When parents are excited by and participate in Jewish living it is truly valuable for the children. In our pods it is more likely that the children will watch their parents and other adults put on a play than just perform themselves. It’s clear that prayer is less alien and more important if you see your parents pray than if you are dropped off at kids’ services.
7. A synagogue is only one part of the greater Jewish world. We don’t believe that a synagogue is the end all or be all of Jewish living; it must be integrated with the other institutions and organizations of the community. Aitz Hayim began with people involved in the Federation and the relationship has expanded and deepened. Today, we apply what comes out of the synagogue experience as input for community priorities, goals and methods at the Federation and at agencies such as Jewish Family and Community Services, the Community Foundation for Jewish Education and the JCCs. We channel personal spirituality to community service and support. In many cases, Aitz Hayim has even become the voice of a liberal Jewish religious perspective at the Federation. Certainly, our members form an extraordinary cadre of leadership within the Jewish community. Israel is central in our consciousness. So in these times of stress and terror for Israel, we travel there yearly to show our support and participate with Israelis.
8. Observance is guided by goals, not by maintaining forms. All too often religious observance is defined by what rules from what guidebook you follow. We consider our goals and then act to fulfill them. For example, we use air conditioning, microphones, and musical instruments to enhance services on Shabbat and holidays. We chant portions of the Torah in English to capture the emotions while making the words understandable. Our musaf, the second service of Shabbat and holiday mornings, becomes an opportunity for a creative offering.
9. We live Judaism outside our walls. We believe religious communities have the opportunity and responsibility to participate in the public space. That is why Aitz Hayim has a float in the Highland Park 4th of July parade. When immigration opportunities were under attack, we featured the Statue of Liberty. We have focused on America and Israel as allies against terror and committed to peace.
10. We’re open to all forms of Judaism and all kinds of ideas. At Aitz Hayim we take from what moves us emotionally and intellectually, including sources from many traditions. Within minutes at our services, you will hear traditional melodies, Shlomo Carlebach, Craig Taubman and Debbie Friedman. In discussions, you will hear psychological, economic, biochemical, ecological, Hasidic and historic perspectives. We are not wedded to or bound by any movement.
As these perspectives evolved so has our community. We think, dance, sing, laugh, cry, and change when we are together. We have influenced others around the country and in Israel as they have influenced us. As you read the specifics on the following pages, we hope you will find us an interesting, creative, traditional, open opportunity to live Jewish joyfully. We welcome you to become a part of our community
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